Men and women have varying views when it comes to the term sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is defined as the persistent unwelcoming of sexual remarks and looks, and unnecessary physical contact at a person, usually a woman, especially in the workplace. I have a hard time with this because what I may define as a sexual remark is different than what a woman defines as such. I can say to a woman, “That dress really shows off how nice of a body you have.” What if she takes this as being sexual. I’m screwed. In my eyes this is just a comment but she thinks, and the key word is thinks, that I am being sexual.
Secondly, what is an unwelcoming sexual look? So you mean to tell me that I can look at a women and it be considered sexual harassment? In some cases yes, but not every look is sexual. However, it may be perceived that way. If it’s the woman’s perception, does that make it true? The definition also states that these actions must be “persistent”. If it’s done once, is that persistent? What constitutes persistence?
A lot of the time men do not see sexual harassment in what they do. So what is a woman’s perception of sexual harassment? What makes it ok for my co-worker to say something, but if I say the same thing in the same exact manner then its harassment. Furthermore, is it only sexual harassment at work? If I say this to you outside of work then what? Will it have the same perception? In my opinion there is a fine line for sexual harassment and the views are so skewed that it is left up to the interpretation on individuals. Is it really sexual harassment or is it just that you do not like the person that has done or said what he did?
In my opinion men are harassed just as much as women. The fact is a man is not respected if he screams sexual harassment and the jury doesn’t have any sympathy for him either. So if a woman grabs my ass and I go tell someone they think it’s funny, but if I go and grab a woman’s ass then it harassment. Hey an ass is an ass. A hand is a hand. And a grab is a grab. What’s so different? To me it lies in the definition. The key word is workplace. Where is the one place women feel inferior? Work. Whatever leverage at work that can be used will be used to. Screaming sexual harassment is a way for some women to climb the corporate ladder. Let’s face it. It is my word against yours. 99% of the time yours will prevail just because the company does not want the stigma of having women being harassed.
Jock
If asked how I view sexual harassment, to me it’s simple. Sexual harassment is any constant act or action of a sexual nature that makes someone (male or female) uncomfortable. Now while my opinion in this matter may not matter much considering when it comes to the workplace I would not be considered the powers that be…as a women I feel it only right to help the fellas navigate through this tricky maze of workplace double standards.
This is a touchy subject period! While it’s generally women who are the victims, men can very well be sexually harassed also. A stare, a comment, a touch…any of these actions if unwanted can ride the fine line of sexual harassment. This isn’t something that is clearly spelled out so caution and discretion should be used at all times.
Let’s take for example my current work environment: I am a woman with shall I say… ample assets which can sometimes cause a lot of unwanted attention. Almost every day, there is one particular gentleman that walks by me and tells me he loves me. He also stops dead in his tracks and stares if walking by when I am standing at the printer or in the upright position period. He makes comments such as, “thank you for that” and “whoever that ni$$a is tell him he stupid cause I wouldn’t let you outta the house”. I could go on and on with examples but I think you get the picture. Now in my opinion this is sexual harassment. My response: Do you compliment your wife as much as you compliment me? Or, you do have work to do right? While, I can handle my own some women cannot and would easily feel uncomfortable in this situation.
Sexual harassment in the workplace is real. It is not a figment of the imagination. While some have been wrongfully accused of such acts there are more than enough real instances of it to cause concern. Women’s jobs or ability to move up in a company are threatened if they don’t comply with sexual advances. Men are tapped on the ass , rubbed on the chest, and gawked at in a room full of horny women.
My advice: A compliment is a compliment. Telling a woman that she looks nice today should not be viewed as sexual harassment but if that compliment is accompanied by a stare that lasts a few seconds too long, it could easily be viewed as such. To keep yourself out of the danger zone, refrain from making any comments to anyone until you have a comfortable enough relationship with them to gauge how they might react. Overall, you’re at work to work. Do just that. Keep your comments to yourself because just like beauty…it’s in the eye of the beholder and what might be ok with one woman or man, may be crossing the line with another.
~Mahogany Princess
IfIRuled Family: How do you define sexually harassment? Have you ever been sexually harassed? How did you react?
If I Ruled 
So why do you think that women get away with touching, gawking, etc. and men can’t?
I think it’s simple….men don’t typically tell. If there were more incidents of men reporting such incidents, I think there would be more of a universal punshiment for such acts.
ITS A DOUBLE STANDARD. ITS NOT RIGHT BUT THAT HOW IT WORKS. AS MEN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO EXCEPT A WOMANS ADVANCES WHILE THE SAME THING SAID TO A WOMAN IS SEEN AS OFFENSIVE AND DEGRADING. I HAVE WORKED AT MANY PLACES WHERE WOMEN WERE THE MAJORITY AND ONE PLACE WHERE I WAS THE ONLY GUY. WOMEN ARE WAY MORE AGGRESIVE THAN MAN AND SAY SOME OF THE CRAZIEST AND VULGAR THINGS. i THINK MEN AND WOMEN ARE SEXUALLY HARRASSED EQUALLY ITS JUST THAT FEMALES TURN THE MEN IN WAY MORE THAN MEN TURN WOMEN IN.